Lisa Cruz

How Nick at Night Slows This Momma Down

 

There's a lot of fighting going on in our house. But not the kind of fighting you might be thinking of. Me, my husband and three sons are fighting to hold the newest member of our family, Nikolas Cruz, age 7 weeks. In the morning and in the evening, we are all vying for the coveted position as the "holder."

Born March 10, Nick's birth was eagerly anticipated by everyone, especially after my father's passing the month before (see February blog post). His newborn cries were met with tears of happiness from my husband and I the second he was born. I was overjoyed to welcome him into our lives and I literally felt like my heart would burst with love. As I said to the nurse the following morning after he was born, "It feels like Christmas!"

Now as I ease back into work, I know that at the end of the day I can go home to Nick where all is right with the world. As the "holder" I relish the feeling when he moves his warm little head to nestle it right under my chin. I marvel at his full, creased lips, his dimpled hands and button nose. While I stare at him and feel the warmth of his skin, I also notice how his deep breathing slows my breathing down.

While I am on my toes more than I ever was before with four boys, I've also learned to still my mind and take in the here and now. It's amazing how a teeny, tiny baby can have such a big impact.

 

Don't forget what's at the heart of social media: People

I wrote this column for our local newspaper regarding social media and building relationships. Do you think as communicators, PR folks and/or marketers we too often forget that it's people we are talking to within social media?

The Post-Crescent MarketSmart Column

Life, Death and Somewhere in Between

 

The lessons of life, death and somewhere in between are not lost on me at this moment. As my baby kicks and stretches inside my belly at 34 weeks pregnant, the oxygen mask blows air into my father's lungs.

I always knew this call would come. The one where my dad would reach a certain point in his health care where tough decisions would have to be made. After having suffered a massive heart attack, coupled with a stroke during triple bypass surgery almost nine years to the day, this is the point we are at now. I received the call yesterday morning from my mom saying the nursing home had called and that my dad's pneumonia wasn't getting any better. She told them to have him transported to the hospital.

While he was in the ER and a battery of tests were done, the doctor came in to deliver the bad news. It was pneumonia coupled with congestive heart failure. They decided to admit him and more bad news came our way. It was also determined that he had had another heart attack along with kidney and respitory failure. After the news was delivered I asked the doctors if it was time to notify family members, they said yes. I quickly grabbed my phone and let my fingers do the talking as I texted my siblings including my brother in Australia. My sister and I also began the conversation about talking through next steps with my mom.

My mom and I went to lunch and I brought IT up, "How far do you want to take this mom in terms of life support?" And we had a brief but clear conversation about the choices we were comfortable with. When we got back to my dad's room the doctor also brought it up. He clearly explained that choice would have to be made whether or not to use a breathing tube and he would rather we have this conversation early because when it comes to the Moment, we wouldn't have much time for discussion. Again, we expressed our wishes.

A few hours later I went down to grab a few items from the gift shop and went back up to my Dad's room. The doctors and staff said he was getting worse and now was decision time. We said, "No breathing tube," and said it with as much assuredness as a person can in these types of situations.

And that's what really has struck me about this process. I tend to see things in very black and white scenarios. This is good. This is bad. But this process is really teaching me about gray. Sometimes you have to make the best decision you can with the information and emotions you have.

This is an amazing journey to take with my father. I thank him for all that he has given and taught me over the years and I will pass along these lessons to his 12th grandchild. And maybe, just maybe, these two will meet somewhere in between.

Burning lips, eye shadow and lip gloss

If you want to learn how I ended up reviewing CoverGirl lip gloss and eye shadow, click here: Red Shoes PR. If you are interested in learning about my experience with Cover Girl Shineblast and Smoky Shadow Blast, read on.

In addition to having a great love of red shoes, I have an amazing and on-going love affair of makeup. Since I was a teen my mom and I would visit drug stores and go crazy in the makeup aisle. These were some of our best shopping trips ever. Some items worked out, some didn't. I'm always looking for the perfect lipstick, lip gloss, mascara, right shade of blush, eye shadow that doesn't bug my eyes (contacts!) and foundation that stays put.

Today I went to a local department store to purchase some more eyeliner refills and ended up trying on a lipstick. Good thing I tried out the lipstick before purchasing. The lipstick burned my lips for whatever reason and I then headed over to the next counter in search of a lipstick that didn't burn.  

Which brings me to my overall review of CoverGirls Shineblast lip gloss, which doesn't burn my lips! Despite it's over-the-top scent of what I think is watermelon, I'd rate it 6.5 shoes out of 10. I've tried it by itself, just with lip liner and over my lipstick and in all applications it gave my lips a light sparkly gloss. Which if anyone knows me I'm into the sparkly stuff. However, at my age of 39, I don't want to be seen as teen sparkly. The conditioning is good, it did NOT burn my lips and the slanted applicator works well.

The Smoky Shadow Blast eyeshadow was certainly a different and fun way to apply eye shadow. It's in a thicker pencil shape. One side has a more blunt and rounded tip, the other a little bit smaller and narrow, each a different shade, meant for different parts of the eye lid. While I think CoverGirl is on to something with how the pencil is designed, I think the eye shadow itself is a little on the oily side. If there's a more matte version, sign me up. But for now, I'd give it 5 shoes out of 10.

Photo by Art Fountain

One of those life moments

When I was growing up my parents had the biggest waterbed available to mankind. This king-sized, water-filled bed was a great source of comfort to me as a kid. I remember crawling into bed with my parents and snuggling up as we watched TV. Sometimes when my dad was out of town I'd join my mom for a night's worth of sleep. And in my teens, upon a few heartbreak moments of ending a relationship with the boyfriend du jour, I would wake my mom up from a sound sleep so she could listen to my bedside sobbing and ramblings.

So fast forward to today. My mom had a total knee replacement a few weeks ago. Since her hospital stay she has been residing at a rehab facility where they can help get her up and about again. She has her own room, intense therapy a couple of times a day and many news friends to commiserate with. While her recovery continues to move forward, it's not without a few bumps. For whatever reason, her leg continues to be very swollen and if she's not in therapy, she's now required to remain in bed and rest.

Yesterday morning, my mom was notified that her younger brother had died. Suffice it to say that their relationship is what I would describe as complicated but at the end of the day, he was her little brother. My mom shot me a quick email to let me know about his passing and then I called her. Her sobs pulled on my heartstrings as I was trying to nap in my own bed. As I hung up the phone I heard my dad's words in my head, "Someday when your mom and dad call you and need you, I hope you come running."

Of course I went to see my mom. I walked in and she was talking to her sister. She ended the phone call and we talked about nothing and everything. As 2 p.m. was nearing and this is my "sleepy" time, she offered to move over on her twin bed so I could take a nap. I plunked myself down next to my mom and she continued to talk my ear off as I drifted off for 25 minutes. For those few precious moments there was peace and comfort.

And I know I did my dad proud.

Social Media Listening ... and of course my quest for red shoes

I had a recent experience with Zappos when I was searching for the ultimate red shoes. What ended up happening is I had the ultimate experience.
Click the link for the full story.

Red Shoes PR Blog

Kindles, social media, hand-written notes, mom's lessons and love

"You should be in public relations." My mom always told me this while I was growing up. The funny thing about her saying that was she, nor I, had any idea what public relations was about. But, because she saw me easily make friends and noted my initiative, she thought it sounded like a perfect fit. One of my first lessons that mama is always right.

Throughout the years my mom has certainly taught me a lot. As a teenager, she would give me life advice and I always shrugged it off because what did she know. Only to figure out later that she was right. At this stage in the game as I stare 40 in the face, I've learned to listen. Here are a few things my mom has taught me over the years.

A love of reading: My mom always had my dad running out to get the newspaper. Always. And she always had a stack of books next to her bed. Not just a few books, a tower of books. And it wasn't uncommon for her to read more than three books at a time. Today, she and I enjoy a shared account on our Kindles and continuously download books and give our recommendations to each other.

Always write a thank-you note: While I may be a staunch advocate of social media, I'm also a firm believer in the power of the hand-written note. Mom would say to me, "If they took the time to buy you a gift, you can at least take the time to write them a thank you." In today's business world, handwritten notes are few and far between but those who frequently write them understand how beautiful they are.

Dress one level up: When in doubt, dress one level up. Mom always made sure I put my best foot forward when it came to clothes. For interviews, parties, church, meetings, everything, I had to always look my best. There is no second-best dressing.

Commitment through the good times and the bad: So the story goes, when my mom and dad were faced with bankruptcy during the 80s, lawyers advised them to divorce so they could salvage some of their assets. This wasn't an option for my mom... or my dad. Today, she continues in her commitment to my dad who has spent the last nine years in a nursing home. Almost every day she visits with him and he lights up as the most beautiful woman in the world walks into his room ... how I imagine it was the first time he laid eyes on her.

And last but not least, love: The greatest gift of all she has demonstrated in so many ways over the years. And believe me, I am not the easiest daughter to love. But she does. No matter all of my flaws and idiosyncrasies, my mom loves me. Unabashedly and wholeheartedly. I can share with her my fears, tears, frustrations and more but I know that no matter what, she loves me. 

Thank you mom.

Self Discovery Through the Cha-Cha

My big toe hurts. And somedays it hurts to get up from a sitting position --but I wouldn't have it any other way. For the past 6 weeks I've been taking dance lessons. Dance lessons that have woken up muscles that haven't been used in years, perhaps even decades! But dance I will as I get ready to face the music on April 30 as part of a fundraiser for the Shall We Dance event hosted by the Sexual Assault Crisis Center of the Fox Cities.

While I continue to practice my fancy footwork, the lessons along the way, along with my ever so patient instructor, Bryan, have been amazing. Some things I already knew about myself and some things were simply confirmed for me.

For example, I have been told over and over again by Bryan, and Frank, the owner of Absolute Danz that when we are on the wood floor, my partner is in control, not me. It has been extremely hard for me to do... to let go and let someone else literally take the lead. I still find myself grabbing my partner's hand as if I am in the lead, much to his chagrin. But I am starting to let go more. And, just like in business, it's those times when I lose control, let go more and not think so hard that I actually dance my best.

Trust is also a major component to make all of this work. I've approached this dancing portion of my life with my instructors as the experts to trust. I've let them suggest ideas that I never would have attempted in a million years. Some work, some don't, but at the end of the lesson I still trust they know what they are doing even if some moves didn't quite work out. But we tried them and that certainly counts for something!

I've also confirmed how I best learn. I always thought that I needed to make a lot of mistakes, do things the wrong way over and over again before I figure things out. Turns out this also applies to the dance floor as I misstep, forget moves and altogether can't figure out my left foot from my right. I also know that when I see the dance being performed by others and carefully watch the steps repeatedly, I then start to pick it up. So visual learning is definitely a must for me and making mistakes are a part of my learning process. 

Now, if I make it through our debut in a few weeks time, well, we'll wait and see. But the journey of getting there has been fantastic. It's great to get out of a regular routine, step outside my comfort zone and cha-cha my way across the dance floor. Who would have thought?

Red Dance Photo by Ambageo via Flickr

PR, Motherhood, Social Media and Life Advice

This post is in response to a colleague, Kate Unger, who was looking for feedback on her recent blog post titled: Twilebrities, Comets and Tweets.

First, Katie (forgive me, you will always be Katie to me:), take a deep breath. My number one lesson in life that I continuously tell others is this: There is no balance in life, especially between your professional and personal lives. It simply doesn't exist. Once you give this expectation up, you relieve yourself of some of the feelings you might have that you might be out of the norm, cause your life isn't "balanced." But what I try to do is strive for it and know that life waxes and wanes. Nothing is ever perfect. Some weeks the business side of things throws me over the edge. Many times my personal life (3 boyz, 1 with diabetes, extended family, crazy busy husband ... the list goes on and on) completely impedes on my professional life and that's OK. Cut yourself some slack. I constantly forgive myself.

I think one of the other things that might be going on here is the truth to social media. And I admit I do this all the time. I tend to report on only the positive things in my life because I don't want to come across as whining. But is that really fair to others?

I will tell you a little secret: Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I cry because I am simply exhausted, running between my personal, professional and online lives. And some days simply suck. And sometimes my day-to-day interactions throw me completely over the edge. And sometimes I can barely put one foot in front of the other... but I do. Because I am learning to treat myself better so I don't get to that point, quite as often. And I do the best I can. So I apologize to you if I come across as everything is hunky dory, when somedays it simply isn't.

I was speaking at an event not too long ago and someone asked me if there isn't a false sense of reality on social media. That question has stuck in my head. So, I've made it a point to not gloss over something in my life but be truthful and honest with myself and my networks with what is going on that day. I challenge you to do the same (and your blog post was great!). Sometimes a simple truth posting can then in turn, actually make you feel better.

It's no secret that personally, my son's struggle with type 1 diabetes, continues to be one of the greatest challenges to me and my family's lives. Recently I gave a speech in front of 350 people about his fight and the impact on our family. My husband video taped that speech but it took me 3 weeks to post. Why? Because I cried and cried hard during that speech. Then it took my next steps of courage to post it on YouTube for world wide viewing. But once I started sharing this pain with others and received so many great responses from so many, suddenly I didn't feel so alone and actually started to feel better.

We are multi-faceted as humans. We laugh, love, cry, scream and live. To post only happy things denies who we really are and denies others our human-ness ... that we relate to.

So, yes. Listen to @prsarahevans and @ambercadabra's advice. Set up boundaries that work for you and your family (because one size doesn't fit all) and then relax. Sometimes I have days when I might only tweet once! You are doing the best you can. We all are.

Where we've been and where we are going with juvenile diabetes

It's one year ago this month that Manny was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. And it was tonight that I had the honor to give a speech at the Celebrity Monopoly Gala by the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation Northeast Wisconsin Chapter. Here are my words:

Three years ago I sat right there, at that table. I was in attendance at this very Gala on more of a professional level as one of my clients was a sponsor of the event. I distinctly remember sitting there, looking around the room, watching Donald Driver, talking to my colleagues and thinking, “I have no idea what juvenile diabetes is …” But I continued to smile and socially interact as a professional does.

 

Today, I stand before you to tell you I now know exactly what juvenile diabetes is in all its force. This past year has been a journey of shock, heartbreak, change and much anger.

 

But it’s also been a year that has showed me how resilient we can be when we have to be, that hope does exist in the face of despair and blessings are very often the small things in life that we so often take for granted.

 

Our journey began one year ago this month when our son, Manny, then 9 years old began drinking a lot of water while we were on vacation. Given that he is an extremely active boy, given to running on beaches and carousing with his two younger brothers non-stop, we didn’t think much of him guzzling water by the gallons in the 90-degree heat.

 

Once we returned from our vacation for the next few weeks, Manny told us he had bad leg cramps at night. We thought it was growing pains.

 

He told us he didn’t have enough energy to go down the steps at home but showed me his new way of getting downstairs by sliding down on his butt. We thought he had walking pneumonia.

 

He was getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom … we thought he had a bladder infection.

 

He couldn’t stop eating everything in sight. We thought he was really going through some growth spurt.

 

His stomach hurt, we thought it was the stomach flu.

 

For a good couple of weeks this went on … with my husband, who is a physician, checking him out every few days.

 

And still it escaped us.

 

One Sunday morning we woke to the wails of Manny from his room. He was violently sick.

 

That’s when my husband, who was working in the urgent care clinic that morning looked at me and said I should take him in once the clinic opened.

 

At that point, what we didn’t realize like so many others confronted with the onset of this disease, was that Manny was slipping into a diabetic coma. He could barely walk to the car so we could get to the clinic that morning. He sat slumped over in the back seat, slumped over in the waiting room. Once there, Steve’s colleague took a look at Manny sleeping on the exam table, his veins to weak to start an IV, and she ran some tests. While my husband continued to see other patients, she delivered the news, “I think Manny has juvenile diabetes.”

 

Now, that’s not what I was expecting to hear. Time literally stopped for me. Sounds of the clinic were muffled as I digested this information. In my head when she opened her mouth, I expected her to say he has pneumonia, flu, appendicitis … and then diabetes punched me in the stomach.

 

From there it was a quick trip to St. Elizabeth Hospital to stabilize him and then a road trip by ambulance to Madison.

 

Our world blurred. He was admitted into the pediatric intensive care unit and surrounded by a team of health care professionals to take care of him.

 

There was heartache, shock and tears as he finally started to come around. One of the first things we told Manny? “We are sorry.” We are sorry for not adding up all the symptoms and getting you help sooner. Manny, being like most kids, readily accepted our apology amidst a lot of hugging and tears.

 

Once he was strong enough, we began the process of learning about juvenile diabetes and how to manage it. It’s a disease that I’m convinced is one of the most slippery diseases imaginable. Once you understand his carb ratios, the numbers change. Once you assume any sort of routine, blood sugars start running high.

 

And the emotions that run along side this disease will bring a parent to their knees.

 

But through it all, Manny has shown us the beauty of strength and courage. Two weeks after his diagnosis I went in on Valentine’s Day to check in on him during treat time at school. Because it was Valentine’s Day there were a number of treats he had eaten so we headed down to the office so I could give him a shot. He had a surprise for me. As we stood in the nurses office, he said “Mom, watch this,” and proceeded to give himself his first-ever insulin shot.  I would ask all of you in this room, how many of you could give yourself a shot, 6 to 8 times a day? How many of you could insert a needle every three days? Manny can and does.

 

Each day 40 kids are diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. That adds up quickly to 3 million people nationwide each year. Believe me, Manny doesn’t want to give himself shots or insert a needle but he needs the insulin to keep him alive.

 

Three years ago, I sat there at that table and had no idea what juvenile diabetes was and the impact that this disease would have on my family. 

 

Hope now plays a huge role in our lives.  When my son plays basketball and runs down the court, that gives us hope.  When I heard of JDRF partnering with another company to research an actual artificial pancreas that gives me hope.  When Manny skateboards without a care in the world,that brings us hope. When I see how much his friends care about him, how other parents help, how his teacher and school take care of him that gives us hope. And tonight when we see a room filled like this one is … that gives us hope.

 

From Diabetes to the Boardroom

Way back when I wrote a blog post about the important role communications play in making sure my 10-year old son Manny is safe no matter where he is--because of his diagnosis of juvenile diabetes this past February. I thought it was time for an update to share some of the important lessons I have learned since then, which have actually impacted my professional life.

For the past 6 months his current intake of insulin was via shots. This meant that each day in addition to his frequent blood sugar checks (6-10 times/day) he also received around 6 to 8 insulin shots per day. After his diagnosis these shots were given the traditional way with a lot of syringes and vials.

After that he graduated to insulin pens. The pens are definitely easier to use but at the end of the day they were still shots. And we were still administering a lot of them as he continues to grow as little boys do.

The past few months Manny decided to take the next step and move to the insulin pump. After weeks of agonizing which pump was the coolest ... he made his decision. Overall the pump is certainly much better and an easier way to deliver the insulin.  Manny is continuously connected to a palm-sized pump  he carries which delivers insulin through the catheter. With each meal his current blood sugar syncs with the pump and then he manually punches in the amount of carbs he ate ...the pump then delivers. You can imagine what a relief this is given the amount of food Manny eats, and boy does that kid eat. No more shots.

However, every three days we have to use a quite elaborate system to insert the catheter. Think of a stapler held against the skin that pokes in about 6 mm. For all of us this process has been a learning curve. You have to grab enough of his "fat" which is hardly existent and then use the inserter. Every three days we re-do this process which can be extremely nerve-wracking. And yes, we've had a few mishaps along the way when all of us end up in tears.

So what have I learned so far that helps me in my day-to-day business life at Red Shoes PR? Here it is:

Confidence - I never thought I would be able to give my own child shots, much less insert a catheter. With this new level of confidence, anything is possible when it comes to my business.

Perspective - With all the things that can go wrong in my day-to-day at the office, it still pales in comparison to the daily battle he fights.

Attitude - I have noticed considerably that my attitude directly impacts his attitude. If my hands shake when inserting the catheter, he gets nervous. I've noticed the same impact when I am in the office: my attitude can have a direct impact on my team.

Appreciation - For the simple things in life like watching Manny run down the basketball court with energy. At the office, sometimes it's those unplanned meetings which include a lot of laughter. Music to my ears.

These are my gifts from Manny. I hope you can find use for them, too.