There's a lot of fighting going on in our house. But not the kind of fighting you might be thinking of. Me, my husband and three sons are fighting to hold the newest member of our family, Nikolas Cruz, age 7 weeks. In the morning and in the evening, we are all vying for the coveted position as the "holder."
Born March 10, Nick's birth was eagerly anticipated by everyone, especially after my father's passing the month before (see February blog post). His newborn cries were met with tears of happiness from my husband and I the second he was born. I was overjoyed to welcome him into our lives and I literally felt like my heart would burst with love. As I said to the nurse the following morning after he was born, "It feels like Christmas!"
Now as I ease back into work, I know that at the end of the day I can go home to Nick where all is right with the world. As the "holder" I relish the feeling when he moves his warm little head to nestle it right under my chin. I marvel at his full, creased lips, his dimpled hands and button nose. While I stare at him and feel the warmth of his skin, I also notice how his deep breathing slows my breathing down.
While I am on my toes more than I ever was before with four boys, I've also learned to still my mind and take in the here and now. It's amazing how a teeny, tiny baby can have such a big impact.
